i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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