I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
