Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
