so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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