Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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