My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need water and some morals
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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