Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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