I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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