Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
