if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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