About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
