1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
