i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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