at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
