Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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