I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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