make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
