Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
