Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
