he looks like a really good dad on facebook
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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