I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
