Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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