you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
