doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
