were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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