And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
