He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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