This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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