stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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