you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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