Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize