omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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