he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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