This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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