you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
