So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
