then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
