one might say we're banned from that church
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
