so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
