I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize