You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
