yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
