As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
