Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
