spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
