just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
