"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
