Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
