is your mom at the bar?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
