Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
