What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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