why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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