i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
