I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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