i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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