Sponge bath it is.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
