what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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