She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
