btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
