sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize