either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
