What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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