I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
