I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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